I am often curious if people, especially women, wonder why I am so quiet and reserved. I admit, I’m aware that it makes me difficult to get to know, and makes conversation awkward, to say the least. I can be a hard person to connect with, unless you’re just that right type of person that I just click with.  I have only experienced that click with men, and a larger variety of men that that of women.

Society tells me that, from a young age, I should have found that one best friend, and because I’m a female, that best friend should be a female as well. Movies, books, advertisements, etc. all seem to purport that a girl can have that one BFF, that she can share anything with, that will be there forever, no matter how much either of them screw up. No matter who they marry. No matter how many kids they have, or where they move away to. They are simply always friends. I’ve spent a great deal of my life attempting to have that, with any woman that will have me as their friend. Most of my childhood and teenage years were spent in great emotional pain, because all the other girls seemingly had their BFFs. I only had the boys, who went cave crawling, rock climbing, camping, deer hunting, fishing, and best of all, they taught me to play video games. But society said, “No, you’re a girl and your best friends should be girls. It’s not in any way appropriate to have best friends of the opposite sex… that means you secretly want to have sex with them and will end up making mistakes that get you in trouble.” I felt like there was a void in my life… a vacancy that had been filled in everyone else’s life but mine. Because everywhere I looked I was told I SHOULD have a female in my life, and I didn’t.

My childhood best friend knew how to take advantage of my soft-spoken, naïve, and eager to please attitude, and I essentially would roll over when she told me to do something, even when I knew it was wrong. Because we were friends, right? Because we’d protect each other, and love each other all our lives? When I moved 14 hours away, we said our goodbyes a month beforehand when school was out and didn’t speak again till we briefly found each other on FaceBook, 14 years later.

My teenage years were spent trying to have that best friend, maybe a step up from the previous one.  Turns out, sexual relationships are more important than the best friend, even when the best friend advises against it because she knows it will end in a split family just a couple years later. Turns out helping someone through serious diabetic problems, just short of a coma, with vomiting and inability to walk to the toilet/trash can, does not give enough basis of friendship to speak after graduation. Turns out making a group of women bridesmaids in your wedding is not symbol enough for them to maintain contact for any length of time.

So the point is, I’ve spent my entire life attempting to have the one female friend who would stick by me, who would call me once in a while just to catch up, who would be there to advise and comfort me no matter how much I screw up. I expect that people will just be that person, because I am relentlessly loyal to them. I don’t intend to ever be arrogant, or to delude myself into thinking that I’m the best friend anyone could ever have. I have faults, and many of them. But, when I tell someone I love them, I mean it now and forever. When I say I will be there when you need me, there is no force in this world that can hold me away from you. I am fiercely driven by love, and I don’t understand people who are not.

Consistently, just when I think I’ve found that one person that I can truly trust, it gets shoved in my face. Every time its someone who seems to be better suited for me than the last person that left, and I think, “This is it. I’ve finally found what I’ve been searching for.” It only takes a couple years before that one, glorious, perfect friend turns around and slaps me in the face. Never for anything that I’ve done. Blame can be pushed around… it’s divorce, or one of our husbands did something wrong, or they find a reason they can’t “hang out” with “the group” anymore and, in throwing away the group, she throws me away too. Or maybe I place more importance on the friendship than she does in some delusion of a closer relationship than is really there. There’s always some reason that does not involve me actually doing anything wrong to ruin the relationship. It’s just circumstances.

I almost feel like that gives them too much benefit though. In short, every woman I’ve ever REALLY gotten close to, has ended up a royal bitch. Petty issues, hiding from the real ones, running away when issues need to be dealt with, throwing meaningless and inaccurate accusations, being simply irrational and, even when ration is pointed out and agreed with, it’s not enough. Doesn’t ever matter which type of woman I get close to, how virtuous they seem to be…. Anger and fear always win them over, and I lose them. Now, I admit that I’ve ruined at least one relationship on my own. I was the bitch that time, selfish and short-sighted. However, I could learn from that and move on.

Yes, I have mommy issues. I imagine my fear of women arise from how I was treated as a child at home. But I’d think that there might be at least one woman out there that is not bat-shit crazy. I can’t seem to find her. Am I bat-shit crazy? Probably… we all have our own level of psychosis to deal with, I think. But I don’t have these problems with the men in my life. Not ONE SINGLE TIME have I had a falling out with a male friend, unless there was a woman involved somehow. I know that when my male friends tell me that our friendship is valuable, they really do value it. I know that when they say they will always be there, I can rely on those words. And amazingly enough, my male friends are more emotionally open than my female friends. Isn’t that kind of against what we’re told about men and women? Women are the open ones, aren’t they? Men just sit around and drink beer and watch sports and grunt, while they women have a cry-fest in the kitchen. That’s how it’s supposed to be, right? Someone screwed that one up, because the men in my life are more real with me AND my husband than any women has even been, and that’s the truth.

Is there sexual tension between my male friends and I? Sometimes. But you know what? We can be mature enough to deal with it and move on, with no moves played in the wrong direction. Is it dangerous to be best friends with a member of the opposite sex? Maybe for some people. But my best friends are my husband’s best friends too, and we all respect each other enough to be adults.

In short, I’m done trying. All my life I’ve tried to find that BFF in females, and I’m tired of being hurt. I look at my single male friends who aren’t in the dating market, and I can’t blame them one bit. It’s no wonder men have trouble finding the “right woman” when they all treat people like the stuff they’ve scraped off their $500 high heeled pumps. Bitches be CRAZY, and I feel like I’m done with them. Society and social rules be damned. My longest running friendships are with men. Men understand commitment and love, strangely enough, or at least the men in my life do. I’m done seeking love and friendship from women, because they’ve never showed me anything but pain.

An additional note: there are women in my life that I respect and care for. There is one right now that I feel may be best friend material. But it scares the shit out of me to think of getting close to a woman, because the precedent has been set. I won’t reject friendship from women, but I feel like I have to be careful and I will always fear what history has shown to be inevitable in dealing with women. Apparently a close friendship can only last three years, at most, before I’m thrown away.

So to sum up, women scare the shit out of me. I’m so done.

And be sure to check out the originating website: Food Wishes.

via Neatorama

photo courtesy of Mommy's Kitchen, used with permission

I’ve had several hits lately from people clearly looking for food-related topics. The truth is, I fully intend to add quite a bit of food stuffs, but I’ve been waiting until I could test some of the recipes and bring you my own pictures. Sadly, working in the toy industry will make the next few weeks difficult time-wise. This is my favorite season to cook, but soon I will be working 10+ hours per day, 6 days per week. Not to mention that I probably SHOULD spend some time with my family outside of the kitchen.

Whine, whine, whine. I know. I’ll stop now.

In order to appease you all, I bring you Sweet potato Pie from Tina over at Mommy’s Kitchen. This is a blog that I’ve picked up more recently, and it’s totally worth it. Every time I’m reading her blog and there’s a “related post,” I simply must click through. This results in having several tabs open in my browser at the same time, usually around lunchtime. It’s simply not good for me and my already rounded waistline.

This is a lovely autumn pie. So simple and easy, just in time for Thanksgiving. Give this a try and let us know how it goes for you!

So why is he doing No Shave November? Well, he says it’s really groovy and all the hip kids are doing it.

How long will it get? We shall see.

And then we have my friend Todd, who has been growing his facial hair for as long as I’ve known him, I think. (A couple years.) He DID look like this not too long ago:

I really preferred this and can’t wait for it to be back.

Here’s what it looked like just a couple days ago:

We’ll be tracking our progress throughout the month, whenever I remember to do so. Anyone else tracking their progress? Send me links!

via stock.xchng

Remember, remember, the 5th of November,

The gunpowder treason and plot,

I know of no reason

Why the gunpowder Treason

Should ever be forgot.

This evening we will be attending a very special occasion on memory of the GunPowder Plot of 1605. Guy Fawkes was not the leader, but he was in charge of the execution of the plan. The plan to blow up the House of Parliament, with much of the nobility inside, thus displacing Protestant rule in England. He was arrested just hours before it all was supposed to go down, due to an anonymous tip by letter. They attempted to hang him, but instead he jumped off the gallows, breaking his own neck.

He has since been a great figure in Britain and held in a certain esteem. Even in the some parts of the Commonwealth celebrate bonfire night, shooting off fireworks and burning effigies. We will be doing this as well, this evening, thanks to some wonderful hosts and forethought of  friends. Oh, and we’re watching V for Vendetta, a movie based on an Alan Moore graphic novel, inspired by Guy Fawkes and the event surrounding his arrest.

:

• Approximately 8 million people tune in to watch every week (this number is from 4 seasons ago, so it may be more now)
• Moms love it! It’s the #1 show recalled by mothers when asked about children’s programming.
• So you don’t want your kids to watch TV, but you simply MUST get away for a few minutes?  This program is the most likely choice.
• Sesame Street has won almost 100 Emmy Awards

What better way to honor such a steadfast part of our collective childhood than to reminisce with the old videos. Here are some of my favorites, that I’m passing down to my kids: I love that Feist was on not too long ago: And Neil Patrick Harris [whom I LOVE and would marry if he were... well... batting for my team] as the shoe fairy: The Rubber Duckie: Norah Jones pines for the letter Y: My absolute favorite, Bert being suave: The new Manah Manah: And the old: And if you liked these, you should head over and watch the 10 Weirdest Moments from the Muppet Show, from Topless Robot. I think I love the old Muppet Show more than my kids do right now. I just can’t get enough of the folk songs, opera singers, and old comedians interacting with puppets. Just. Awesome.

image via stock.xchng

I’m not much of a beer drinker really. I’d rather have a cocktail or bottled girly drink. But when I find a beer that I really like, I’ll drink it every time I go out. I am allegiant to my favorite beers.

Adage.com has an interesting article this week on the what type of person drinks which type of beer. It’s interesting how well I fit into my slot. I’m quite happy that out of the few types of beers they studies so far, Blue Moon was one of them. Here’s what my preference says about me, according to their article:

“The personality traits of people who prefer Blue Moon, a Belgian style wheat beer, tracked similarly to the same type of people who prefer craft beers—which means Blue Moon drinkers probably don’t know it’s a Molson Coors Brewing Co. family product made in Colorado. Blue Moonies are socially liberal [that's me!] and usually quite willing to go against convention [yes, many times yes]. They really hate moral authorities, and believe children should be exposed to moral dilemmas and allowed to come to their own conclusions [mmhmm, that's right]. They can also be sarcastic and snide in order to get a point across [no way!]. People who drink Blue Moon beer are 105% more likely than the average person to drive hybrid cars [if we had the money for a new car], 77% more likely to own Apple Mac laptops [again, a little short on money... is this a trend in Blue Moon drinkers also?], 65% more likely to purchase five pairs or more of sneakers every year [sneakers? no. boots on sale? yes, please], and 32% more likely to not be registered voters.”

The only place I’d not fit it would be that I am, in fact, registered to vote. And I chastise people harshly when they don’t vote intelligently.

I’m a little surprised at the lump sum treatment of craft beers, but I think it still works well. I would fit a lot of my friends into this  category.

There’s even a category for those who don’t drink, although I’d be insulted by their description. That’s just me because don’t you EVER call me a Republican.

So, what to you drink and how well do these studies describe you?

via videosift